Harry Potter And The Changing Reality
by SylvaDragon
Summary: No, No, Fudge, you must keep up the pretence of being against me, of treating me like a fool. The boy needs an enemy to strengthen his trust and loyalty to me." Is Dumbledore Harry's mentor or his betrayer ? Will Harry cope ? Angsty AU 5th year fic.
1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter and the Changing Reality

Chapter One

"This doesn't make sense" said Harry, he'd just finished reading a few pages of the book he'd found on his bed that morning.

"You what ?" said Ron, who thought most things didn't make sense in the morning.

"This" said Harry "It's about me and Dumbledore It's about how I have to kill him eventually"

"What ?" said Ron, "What book ?"

"This book, I found it on my bed this morning."

"Harry you know you shouldn't read strange books" Ron said seriously.

"I wasn't, I was just flicking through it." Harry said defensively, he didnt want to tell Ron how as he'd flicked through the book he had found himself drawn into reading it and how what he read had seemed almost real as though it could come true. Strange books were still a sensitive subject with Ron after what had happened to Ginny in their second year.

"Did it say anything else about you and Dumbledore ?" Ron asked curiously.

"We'll be late for breakfast if we don't get a move on." Harry answered. He was feeling more and more upset by what he'd read and didn't want to talk about it with anyone at the moment. His words had the desired effect of distracting Ron from the book and they both headed downstairs for breakfast.

Just as Ron was finishing his third plate of bacon and eggs, Hermione appeared with a pile of books under her arm looking as if she'd spent most of the night studying.

"Morning Hermione" said Ron cheerfully "Did Harry tell you about that crazy book he found ?"

Harry glared at Ron and mouthed Shut up at him. But Ron was too busy telling Hermoine about how the book had said Harry would kill Dumbledore to notice.

"It did say you'd kill Dumbledore, didn't it Harry ? Or was it that Dumbledore killed you ? Ron asked at the top of his voice totally oblivious of the other gryffindors who were listening intently. Harry could happily have killed Ron at that moment.

"Shut up you idiot" Harry snapped as he dragged Ron out of the great hall, "You think I want everyone to know about it ?!"

"Harry you should be careful with strange books" Hermoine said firmly. "Remember what happened with ..." Hermoine stopped suddenly and glanced at Ron. "Well you know" she finished lamely.

"I already told him that" said Ron "And you can talk about Ginny and the diary you know, I'm not going to fall apart or anything." Ron glared at them both fiercely.

"Sorry mate" Harry said.

"Sorry Ron" Hermoine said, "So Harry what book and what did it say exactly ?"

"Well it was about Dumbledore," Harry was struggling to remember in detail, he'd been so un-nerved by what he'd read that he hadn't taken it in fully. "It was something about how I had to kill him in the end in order to get rid of Voldemort. It seemed to say that Voldemort couldn't be killed unless Dumbledore died too or something and it had me actually ... I really did, I killed him, I had to."

Harry's voice had trembled on the last few words, and now he stood staring at the wall, teeth biting into his lips so hard they drew blood as he fought back tears. He couldn't cry here, it'd be so embarrassing, he'd never live it down. But the words he'd read that described how he'd had to kill his headmaster haunted him.

"Harry, I think you should and go and tell Dumbledore about this" Hermione said firmly. "You know he always says you're to talk to him if anything worries you."

"Yeah" Ron agreed, "We should go and tell Dumbledore at once, we'll come with you. Come on Harry."

Together the three of them walked to Dumbledore's office, both Ron and Hermione were worried to see Harry so upset and hoped the headmaster would be able to help. Reaching the door of Dumbledore's office they knocked and were told to enter

"Harry, Ron, Hermione Good morning, good morning" Dumbledore seemed in a very cheerful mood this morning, eyes sparkling merrily as he smiled cheerfully at them. "Is this just a social visit, or is there something I can do for you ?"

"Well Sir, it's this book I found on my bed this morning" Harry began.

"Please continue Harry" Dumbledore sat with fingers intwined peering at him with piercing eyes which seemed to see right through Harry.

Harry took a deep breath, and started to tell Dumbledore everything. As Harry explained about the book he'd found on his bed and his worries about how strange it seemed Dumbledore listened intently. Harry also told Dumbledore about how the book had seemed so real to him, as though it would come true. Harry thought he noticed a flicker of something strange in Dumbledore's eyes as he said this.

"Do you have the book with you Harry ? Dumbledore asked, when Harry had finished.

"No, when I went to get it off my bed it had vanished" Harry answered.

"That is a shame, I would have been most interested to have seen it"

"Sorry Sir I didnt think." said Harry kicking himself inwardly for having not kept the book with him.

"That's quite all right my dear Harry, it must have been most distressing for you to read such things so it's perfectly understandable that you werent thinking clearly at the time. "

Harry was grateful for Dumbledore's kindness and understanding but still angry with himself. Then his mind turned back to the book again.

"Sir the stuff in that book it wouldn't be true would it ?" Harry asked anxiously "I mean we can't read about something in such detail before it's even happened can we ? I mean a book is different to tea leaves and things, and ...and how can someone write things that haven't happened yet ?" Harry was getting more and more confused.

"It all depends upon whether you think time is linear or circular."said Dumbldore

"Circular" said Ron absently, he'd been half thinking about what would be for lunch today. Hermione stared at ron with a stunned expression on her face, Ron noticed that Dumbledore also looked rather surprised. "Well" he said rather defensively "It has to be circular, after all the hands on a clock go round in a circle don't they."

"Oh Ronald, you are an idiot" snapped Hermione, while Dumbledore chuckled.

"All I know about time is that there's always too much of it when you're stuck learning history of magic and always too little when you late for Snape's potions class" growled Ron.

"Professor Snape, Ronald" Dumbledore reminded him.

"I don't understand Sir" said Harry "This stuff about time, I don't get it."

"If time is circular then it may be possible to know the future, or one of the possible futures that may eventually happen." Dumbledore said, peering at them over half moon spectacles.

"Isn't there only one future ?" asked Ron.

"Oh no, not at all. There are countless possible futures which could happen depending on the choices you make." Dumbledore answered.

"Blimey !" said Ron

"Bloody Hell !" Said Harry then "Sorry Sir."

Hermione just looked fascinated.

"Quite all right Harry, I believe I said something similar myself when first faced with the intricacies of time" Dumbledore smiled kindly at Harry.

"So" Said Ron "If I choose bacon for breakfast instead of sausages that might affect my entire future ? What if I choose both ? And how do I know which one gives me the best future ?" Ron started to look increasingly panic stricken.

"My dear Ron I think I can safely assure you that your choice of what to have for breakfast is highly unlikely to have a vast impact on your future" chuckled Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling merrily.

"You really must not worry about things like this too much" Dumbledore continued "You cannot spend every minute of each day worrying about the effect each tiny choice will have on the future. Most of the time everything works out allright anyway, all we can do is do the best we can. As for your worries about the book you found, Harry - most likely it was just a joke, a joke in extremely poor taste, but I will investigate further." Dumbledore smiled at Harry reassuringly.

"Yes Sir, I expect so" said Harry, hoping Dumbledore didn't think him too much of a fool for getting so worried about what was probably just a dumb prank.

"Was there anything else you wanted to ask me about ?" asked Dumbledore.

"No Sir" Harry replied.

"Well, I wish you all a very pleasant weekend then, and please don't hesitate to come to me if you have any further worries." Dumbledore moved towards the door of his office and held it open for them. Clearly he had things he needed to do. Harry knew he was very busy these days with Order of The Phoenix business so, he smiled at Dumbledore, thanked him politely and left with Ron and Hermione.

Mostly Harry felt reassured after speaking with Dumbledore about the book, but he still had some worries which increased as he thought he noticed a strange glint in Dumbledore's eyes as they left the room. _'It's probably nothing' _he told himself, '_Dumbledore has lots of worries with Voldemort back.'_ As the door shut and they started down the stairs he thought he heard faint voices from Dumbledore's office, part of him was tempted to turn back, to listen. _'Stop being so stupid, it's probably just the paintings he's talking to.'_Harry told himself firmly and followed Ron and Hermione.

None of them noticed how everything seemed to flicker for a brief instant as they stepped off the spiral staircase,

As they were walking along the corridor they heard Fudge's voice, he seemed to be arguing with someone. Once again Harry felt the urge to listen, whispering to Ron and Hermione to go on without him, he moved stealthily closer and hid in the shadows trying to keep his breathing as quiet as possible.

"Is it really neccessary to continue this pretence ?" Fudge was asking a person blocked from Harry's view by the wall, "I don't see what harm it would do ..."

"No, No, Fudge, you must keep up the pretence of being against me, of treating me like a fool. The boy needs an enemy to strengthen his trust and loyalty to me. He needs to feel that we fight against a common cause."

Harry was stunned to hear dumbledores voice answering Fudge, how could he be here, it was only a few minutes since they'd left his office, it didnt make sense, no one could apparate within hogwarts so how had Dumbledore got here so fast. Harry's shock increased as he heard Dumbledores words.

"Isn't you know who good enough as an enemy ?" Fudge asked.

Dumbledore groaned in exasperation and snapped, "Do try not to be such a fool, Fudge, clearly you are not on the same level as Voldemort. Try to understand, he needs a different type of enemy."

Peering round the corner Harry saw Fudge open his mouth to speak.

"I do not have time for anymore questions. Please follow my orders, it is not neccessary for you to understand why." Dumbledore snapped his eyes flashing with uncharacteristic anger as he swept off down the corridor.

After Dumbledore had left Harry stood motionless for what seemed forever trying to make sense of what he'd heard. He'd always trusted Dumbledore, viewed him as a mentor, now for the first time he started to doubt him. There had to be some explanation, he trusted Dumbledore, Dumbledore had always been kind to him. Maybe he'd been speaking about someone else, maybe he didn't trust fudge and was trying to find out who's side he was really on. Dumbledore must have his reasons and they would be good ones, Harry was sure of this - but not completely sure. Something hadn't seemed quite right about Dumbledore, the uneasy feeling that had been with harry all day started to intensify.

Harry spent most of the day worrying about what he'd overheard, Ron and Hermione tried to cheer him up but finally gave up. Finally Harry decided he couldn't stand wondering about things anymore, he had to go and ask Dumbledore about it, no matter how hard it might be.

Reaching the headmasters office, Harry knocked on the door and was told to enter.

"Mr Potter, what is it ? I am extremely busy, so unless it is important ..." Harry had never known such a cold unwelcoming greeting from Dumbledore before, he was very tempted to say no it wasnt important sorry sir and leave, but it was important so gathering his courage he said

"Yes Sir, it is important, at least I think it is ...something isnt right Sir, things havent been right all day."

As Dumbledore listened intently Harry told him everything that had happened that day, including the conversation he'd overheard between him and Fudge. Harry grew more and more nervous as he continued speaking, he didn't normally feel this way around Dumbledore but something about Dumbledore's expression as he listened was starting to worry Harry.

When he had finished, Dumbledore looked at him with icy cold eyes which chilled him to the bone. Harry hung his head and stared at the floor as Dumbledore continued to look at him in this way for several minutes. Finally Dumbledore spoke.

"Mr Potter you must learn not to keep questioning every little thing I do. You should not have been listening anyway, you are too fond of listening to conversations that don't concern you, it is a most unpleasant trait in you. The matter I was discusssing with Fudge does not concern you, that should be sufficient to answer your worries."

Harry had flushed bright pink at Dumbledore's words, part of him was ashamed of having listened, but part thought that Dumbledore's words just weren't good enough. He should at least explain what Harry had overheard. There was silence for several minutes then suddenly Dumbledore reached out and rested a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"I thought you trusted me Harry, I assure you there is no reason not to trust me, I only have your best interests at heart." Dumbledore's voice was soft and gentle now, but somehow it didn't make Harry feel any better at all. "Clearly you misheard, something that is common when you eavesdrop."

_'NO I DIDN'T' _thought Harry. _'I know what I heard, he's lying to me, Dumbledore is lying to me.' _Harry couldn't quite believe it, he'd never known Dumbledore to lie before. _'He must have his reasons, he's always kept me safe, always been there when I've needed him. This must be part of another way to keep me safe, he has to have his reasons.' _Harry thought. But Harry still couldn't shake off the sick feeling that the thought of Dumbledore lying to him gave him. He didn't even bother listening to the rest of Dumbledores words, just kept nodding and saying yes Sir, then left still feeling sick and hurt.

As he closed the door behind him, he heard a voice he didn't recognise start to speak. "The plan will never suceed if the boy doesn't learn to obey you unquestioningly."

"Please do not waste my time with stating the obvious." Dumbledore sounded extremely irate. "I am well aware of what is neccessary for the plan to succeed, after all I am the one who thought of it."

It was with difficulty that Harry resisted the temptation to fling open the office door and demand to know the truth, only the thought of having Dumbledore look once again at him with those icy cold eyes stopped him. Harry heard footsteps moving towards the door as the unknown voice spoke again.

"Are you sure the little brat isn't listening to this ?"

Quickly Harry lept onto the moving staircase, _'go faster damm you' _he thought desperately, then gave up and took a flying leap over the last few steps then ran down the corridor. Noticing how dark it was outside he decided to head for Gryffindor tower and his dorm, maybe there he could think straight, make sense of things.

Harry bit back tears of bewilderment and anger as he walked along the passage to his dorm, he felt as though his world was changing around him. Dumbledore was his rock, had always been so kind to him - none of this made any sense. Suddenly everything seemed to flicker, almost as though everything had shifted slightly. _'What the hell just happened ?' _ thought Harry, shaken out of his misery by the surprise of such a strange feeling.

"Good evening, Harry, I trust you are on your way to bed since it is rather late to be walking the corridors." said the kindly voice of Dumbledore.

Harry stared at him open mouthed, what was Dumbledore doing here, it was only a few minutes ago he'd left his office and Dumbledore was coming from the opposite direction to his office, and there was mud on his boots as though he'd been outside. How could he be here ?

"Are you allright Harry ?" Dumbledore asked concern in his voice "You seem rather overwrought."

"What ? Oh yeah, I'm fine" Harry lied.

"Are you sure Harry ?" Dumbledore still seemed concerned as he stared at Harry piercingly.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, really Sir I'm fine. I've just been working hard for my owls, bit tired thats all" Harry was certain Dumbledore wouldn't believe him, and was starting to panic, completely un-nerved by the events of the day. He just wanted to be left alone to try and think things through.

"Then I will wish you a good night Harry, may I suggest you take yourself off to bed at once and have a good long sleep." Dumbledore smiled kindly at Harry "Don't overdo things will you, my dear boy."

"Yes Sir, I mean no sir" Harry stuttered, "Good night Sir"

"Good night Harry" Dumbledore smiled at him and vanished down the corridor.

He seemed so kind, just then thought Harry not at all angry or cold like he'd been just a few minutes ago. _'What's going on ? Nothing seems right not even Dumbledore. Maybe he's doing it on purpose, no thats crazy, Dumbledore isn't like that. He must have his reasons for how he was earlier, he's so busy with Voldemort back maybe he was tired or something, but that doesn't explain what I heard. Shut up !' _Harry told himself, _'I trust Dumbledore, he's always kept me safe and been kind to me, I trust him.' _Harry refused to listen to the tiny doubting voice in his mind that was becoming more and more persistent, he trusted Dumbledore, he knew Dumbledore.

As he headed for Gryffindor tower Harry kept wondering about the sensation of everything shifting or flickering he'd noticed, what could have caused it, maybe Hermione would know.

He was glad to see that Hermione and Ron were still up and sitting by the fire in the common room.

"Listen Hermione" he said urgently "I wanted to ask you about something important well maybe important. Have you noticed any strange sensations lately where everything seems to you know just shift ?"

"Are you allright Harry ?" Hermione asked looking at him with a worried expression on her face.

"Yes of course I am, stop fussing about me. It's these feelings where everything seems to shift suddenly and then everything is different that I'm worried about."

"Harry you really ought to go to the hosital wing, you know ..."

"Oh shut up Hermione !" Harry and Ron both said at once.

Which made Hermione storm off to bed with a hurt look on her face.

"She's so bloody moody these days" growled Ron "I'm going to bed, night Harry"

"Night Ron" Harry muttered.

After his friends had gone Harry sat for hours staring into the fire, going over and over everything that had happened that day. He couldn't figure out what was wrong, couldnt understand Dumbledore's odd behaviour. Eventually he gave up and crawled into bed exhausted.

Harry slept restlessly that night, tossing and turning, sometimes crying out in his sleep. Fortunately the other boys were snoring loudly enough to drown the sound and so did not wake. He woke feeling drained and mentally exhausted from the worries that had persisted as he slept. At least his scar wasn't hurting as it normally did when he slept so badly, he was grateful for that at least.

As Harry entered the Gryffindor common room that morning he saw Hermione sitting by the fire reading, as she heard him come in she glanced up and smiled brightly at him. Seeing her reminded him that he still wanted to ask her about the strange feelings of things shifting.

"Listen Hermione I'm sorry about yesterday and telling you to shut up." Harry said.

"Don't be silly Harry, I dont remember anything like that."

Harry looked at Hermione surprised, _'oh well maybe it's her way of saying that she's forgiven me' _he thought.

"You remember me asking you about that strange feeling I noticed, I know you worry about me but I'm really ok, I ..." Harry continued.

"Harry I don't know what you're talking about, you haven't told me about any strange feelings perhaps you should go ..." Hermione interrupted with a confused look on her face.

"I am NOT going to the hospital wing." snapped Harry.

"I was going to suggest that you tell Dumbledore." Hermione said with a hurt look on her face. "You know you're meant to tell him about anything strange that happens. Or any odd feelings you get. You know he worries about you Harry, I'm sure he'd want to know."

"Yeah but," Harry really wasn't sure that he wanted to risk going to Dumbledore again after what had happened in his office last time. He was still very hurt and shocked by Dumbledore's treatment of him, even though he had seemed nice enough later.

"Harry ..." began Hermione.

"Its probably nothing it's probably just worry about the owls that caused it. Got to go, I've left one of my books downstairs"

Harry sped off rapidly before Hermione could say anything more about going to see Dumbledore.

As he came down the stairs from Gryffindor tower Harry felt as though everything flickered suddenly. _'Oh no not again !' _he thought, _'what is going on ?' _A couple of minutes later he saw Ron and Hermione come out of a door he'd just passed. Harry gasped, how on earth had Hermione got here before him !

Ron had his nose deep in a book and Hermione was saying "Can't you get your nose out of that stupid book for a single minute ? No one has any fun anymore with these stupid owls !"

Harry's mouth fell open in astonishment and for a few seconds he stood gaping at them like a goldfish gasping for air. Then it hit Harry they must have heard him coming and decided to play a joke on him by pretending to be each other

"Oh very funny you two" he said "But I don't buy it you know."

"I don't know what you're talking about Harry." Ron said, "I'm too busy studying to be funny."

"You what ?" said Hermione, "What's funny ?"

"Yeah yeah, you two can stop now you know. I get the joke, OK." Harry said. "What are you two doing here anyway, and how did you get here before me anyway ?"

Hermione and Ron were the ones who looked at him in surprise now

You were just in Gryffindor tower, now you're here, how'd you manage it ? Some kind of secret passage or something ?" Harry asked.

"Don't be silly Harry, I've been studying potions here all morning." said Ron

"Boring boring" grumbled Hermione, "I'll be glad when these stupid owls are over."

"Look I don't have time for this." snapped Harry "I've got better things to do than put up with your stupid jokes !" Thouroughly annoyed he stomped off down the corridor muttering under his breath about how people ought to know when jokes had gone far enough. As he turned the corner Harry heard Ron say "I'm worried about him you know, he ought to go to the hospital wing." "Oh shut up Ron !" said Hermione, "You fuss too much." Harry turned back to tell his friends what he thought of them and their dumb jokes but they weren't even looking in his direction as they vanished down the stairs. _'What if they weren't joking ?' _Harry suddenly thought, _'Thats crazy , they must have been joking.' _Harry couldn't shake the increasing feeling that something was very wrong though.

As Harry stood staring after his friends he saw Snape and Dumbledore walking along the corridor deep in conversation, immediately they saw Harry they became abruptly silent. Harry tried not to look as suspicious as he felt, he hated this feeling that was growing in him of not being able to trust Dumbledore.

"Not now Snape, I will meet you in your office later, we can discuss the new timetables then" Dumbledore said glancing at Harry with an unreadable expression on his face.

Harry was certain that they would not be discussing timetables, he had to find out what was going on, what plans they were making. Once Dumbledore and Snape had gone Harry went back to his dorm and took his invisibility cloak from the chest at the foot of his bed. Slipping it on he moved silently down to the dungeons and Snape's office.

Harry stood outside the door of Snape's office listening intently for some minutes, he heard nothing so cautiously he pushed the door open slowly, peered warily into the room then breathed a huge sigh of relief as he saw it was empty. Quickly he shot into the office, closed the door behind him and hid behind the thick dark curtains that cut out almost all the daylight in the room. There he waited, hidden under his invisibility cloak, for what seemed like forever. At last he heard Snape enter the office, a few minutes later there was a knock on the door.

"Good morning Headmaster" Snape said.

"Snape," Dumbledore's voice was unusually sharp. "I do not have much time, please be brief."

"This plan of yours, it may risk Harry's life." Snape's voice was concerned.

"If it does then it is an acceptable sacrifice." Harry was astonished at how callous and unconcerned Dumbledore sounded.

"Headmaster, surely no life is an acceptable sacrifice, it cannot be right to condemn an innocent boy to potentially die." Snape protested.

"Naturally it would be sad if that were to happen, we are all fond of the Potter boy, but it is worth it if it will defeat Voldemort and free the world of evil. I'm sure the boy himself would agree." Dumbledore answered.

"Then perhaps he should be given a choice in the matter before we go ahead."

"Please do not talk nonsence Snape, I will not have everything endangered simply to save Potter. My decision is final we will go ahead with the plan." Dumbledore appeared to have lost his temper as he snapped "It is irrelevant whether the boy lives or dies, all that matters is to be rid of voldemort."

This was all wrong, it should be Snape that didn't care if Harry's life was risked and Dumbledore that was concerned about his safety. Harry was utterly bewildered, he felt twisted and torn in all directions, his mind swirled and he didn't know what to think. Everything was all wrong, Harrys mind searched desperately for solutions, for reasons for Dumbledore's behaviour, was it some evil plot of Voldemorts ? But how could Voldemort affect Dumbledore's behaviour in this way ? There was no way that Voldemort could have cast the imperius curse on Dumbledore, Dumbledore was more than able to defend himself against such magic. Harry thought his brain might explode at this point, he was getting a headache just from trying to figure things out.

It had to be something else, maybe it was all some ghastly nightmare ? Harry had never had nightmares like this before, but that didn't mean it wasnt a nightmare, that was it ! It had to be a nightmare, in which case everything would be all right if he could just wake up. Harry pointed his wand at his arm and cast a mild pain causing spell. An intense shifting sensation and Dumbledore and Snape were gone, Harry looked around warily, everything seemed normal. He felt exhilerated and triumphant, it was over, everything would be all right now. Why hadn't he realised sooner, it was just a bad dream.

Harry didn't even think to wonder about the shifting sensation he'd felt once again, he was too delighted to think that Dumbledore would be back to normal, that he had his mentor back..

Just as Harry was about to open the door and leave Snape's office he heard footsteps in the corridor. '_Oh damm if Snape caught him here he'd be in trouble.' _Quickly Harry slipped back behind the curtains again. Scarcely daring to breath he heard the doorknob turn, heard two people enter the room. Stunned he heard Dumbledore speak -

"The boy must die, he must die if my plan to defeat Voldemort and gain power ourselves is to succeed."

"Then why have we bothered keeping him safe all these years ? It would have been much easier to kill him as a baby." Snape asked.

"So that he could die when the time was right of course, and in the right way, everything must be right or Voldemort will survive the spell. The spell needs the sacrifice of the boy to gaurantee success." Dumbledore's voice was casual as though Harrys death was no more important than a discussion about what tomorrows weather would be like.

"You haven't yet told me when exactly the right time is." said Snape.

"Soon Severus very soon now, soon Voldemort will be defeated and all will be grateful to me. Their gratitude will give me the power I desire, that is the beauty of my plan. I will be seen as the saviour, and you Severus will be a hero also." Dumbledore replied.

"Won't anyone wonder about the boy's death though ?" Snape asked

"They will forget him in time, and we will appear to mourn him initially. I shall make a speech about him in the great hall, the children will be greatly moved by it. The facade of kindness and eccentricity I have cultivated all these years has been most convincing and extremely usefull." Dumbledore rubbed his hands in glee and his eyes twinkled frightningly. "Come Severus we must begin to prepare."

As Snape and Dumbledore left the room, Harry was too stunned to think of following them. Grasping desperately at straws he thought _'This has to be a dream still, I can't have woken up properly. Dumbledore would never want to kill me, he wouldn't want to kill anyone.' _Harry couldn't bear to let his trust in Dumbledore go, to accept that his beloved mentor had lied and betrayed him. Instead he held on to his fading faith in Dumbledore and told himself I must wake up properly right now, then everything will be allright. Pointing his wand at his arm with a shaking hand Harry cast a burning spell on his arm. The pain was so severe it made him cry out and for a moment he thought he would faint as the room span around him. Hitting the floor with a hard bump he opened his eyes to find himself in his dorm. _'How the hell did I get here ?' _he thought, _'I was just in the dungeons. Of course! I cant have woken up properly before since if I had I should have been here not still in Snape's office, I'm such an idiot !' _Relief gushed over him as he realised this prooves it, _'It prooves I've been dreaming. I'm definitely awake now, it's over, everything will be back to normal now.' _

Harry's next thought was that he really ought to tell Dumbledore about these unusual dreams he'd had. More than anything though he just wanted to see Dumbledore, the real merry eyed smiling always kind to him Dumbledore, just seeing Dumbledore, hearing his voice would reassure Harry that everything was allright now. Harry ran along the corridors, reaching the moving staircase to Dumbledore's office he jumped onto it and knocked on the door at the top of the stairs. Then unable to control his longing to see Dumbledore, to be reassured Harry rushed into the office, face alight with eagerness.

"Why Harry this is a most unexpected pleasure," Dumbledore smiled benignly at Harry "What can I do for you today ?"

Harry was so relieved at such a warm friendly greeting, so unlike his last visit to Dumbledore's office that at first he was lost for words and could only stare happily at Dumbledore, noticing far more than usual how the kindly smile seemed to reach all the way to the twinkling eyes.

"I ...I...it's you Sir" Harry stammered.

"Yes Harry I do believe it is me, did you expect someone else ?" Dumbledore asked.

"No, Sir, no ...well maybe, I was a bit worried, I thought that ... but I hoped that ..., it's this crazy weird dream I had Sir, " At last Harry began to make sense.

"Please sit down my dear boy, take a minute to calm yourself and tell me about it" Dumbledore waved Harry to a chair in front of his desk, and offered him a lemon drop. "Good for the nerves my dear boy."

Harry sat down, and gathering his thoughts started to tell Dumbledore about the strange dream, about how he'd struggled to wake up. Dumbledore appeared to be listening intently but as Harry continued to speak he suddenly had a strange sensation of something awful happening, looking at Dumbledore he was horrified to see his headmaster's face changing into that of Voldemort. As Harry gasped in horror Voldemort spoke.

"You look surprised Harry" he hissed "Didn't you ever realise ? We were always one and the same person, that was the pleasure of the game, being both hero and villain, toying with people, playing with them. One minute tormentor, next minute comforter, such delicious pleasure and you Harry, you were the best. I've been controlling you your entire life, nothing you have done has been your own free choice."

"No that's not right what about all those times I stopped you, foiled your plans, stopped you coming back." Harry couldn't, wouldn't accept that Voldemort spoke the truth even though his heart was full of dread.

"Harry my dear boy" said Voldemort in a sickening imitation of Dumbledore, "I really had credited you with a little more intelligence, have you not grasped it yet ? You did not defeat me, nor did you stop me, it was all part of my plan, all building up to this moment of truth. You have danced for me like a puppet on a string and it has been most entertaining. Oh you came close at one point I'll give you that, when you wondered if it was one of my evil plots, you had me a little worried there for a while. That's why I had to draw the game to a close earlier then intended, I had meant to enjoy tormenting you for longer. But you just couldn't make the mental leap could you, my boy, my dear boy." Harry felt bile rising in his throat as Voldemort once again used the words Dumbledore had said so often to him. "You just couldn't quite follow your train of thought and realise what was happening could you, you still trusted Dumbledore, clung to your belief in him. That's how love weakens you, blinds you."

Harry shrank back as Voldemort reached out to stroke his cheek. "Don't touch me !" he screamed, "This is all a trick, I don't believe you !" But harry couldn't keep the growing doubt and fear out of his voice. "You can't be Dumbledore as well, you just can't, Dumbledore is good and kind, he's nothing like you." Harry was close to hysteria now.

'_This has to be a dream, I have to wake up.' _thought Harry desperately, _'I know Dumbledore, there's no way, just no way that this is true, it's probably another one of Voldemorts tricks, I am going to wake up right now !' _

It had worked, Harry was awake, Voldemort was gone, Dumbledore was gone. He was alone. _'I have to find Dumbledore right now.' _he thought, _'I have to tell him what just happened, he'll be able to help me. What if Dumbledore and Voldemort really are the same person though ?' _part of him asked. _'No, he isn't, I trust Dumbledore, I trust,...'_ but Harry didn't believe himself, and the voice persisted, tormenting him with questions he couldn't answer. Asking over and over _'how can you trust him ? How can you be sure? What if he really is Voldemort too?' _Sinking to the ground, clutching his head in intolerable agony and confusion Harry argued with himself, clung to the fading remains of his faith in his headmaster, his mentor- his betrayer.

Then they came, surrounding him, each one with black hair, green eyes, glasses and a lightning shaped scar on his forehead. Closing in on him, encircling him, while they argued. Dumbledore was good, no he wasn't, he was evil and manipulative, he wasn't evil he just wanted harry to be a weapon all for the greater good. Trust Dumbledore, dont trust Dumbledore. Dumbledore loved harry, Dumbldore didn't care, Dumbledore hates me.

"Stop it !" Harry screamed "I'm the real Harry Potter, the rest of you don't exist, I don't believe in you."

Silence, then as many pairs of emerald eyes gazed at him.

"Go away !" screamed Harry again, "Go away please !"

"Why should we ?" said one.

"Polite isn't he !" said another "Saying please and all."

"He thinks he's the real one, doesn't he know i'm the real one ? I'm not inside his head, he's inside mine" said yet another Harry.

"You're not real I am" another one yelled

"No I am, and it's my head you're all inside" asserted the next Harry

"We're not in anyone's head, and if we were it'd be mine since I'm the real Harry Potter. Look at him there, how can he be the real Harry Potter, he' s nothing like me." sneered one.

The sound of the Harry Potters arguing about which one was real grew louder and louder till Harry felt he would be swamped by the noise, would drown under the pressure of it. Clenching hands over ears, hunched in a foetal posture, he couldn't shut out the sound of their voices, each one his voice, the sound was within him and outside him breaking his mind apart with it's power. With the last of his strength Harry cried out desperately for Dumbledore as he clung to the last remnants of his fading sanity, Dumbledore would be able to explain this, Dumbledore would make everything all right just as he always did. Harry trusted Dumbledore, he was sure he wasn't really manipulative, or using him. Dumbledore wasn't like that, Harry was sure of this. Then he

saw him, he saw Dumbledore standing there, watching, eyes twinkling with hidden plans and secrets, beaming face split by a wide grin and grasping slender hands with boney fingers that seemed to reached out to him, clutching at him like claws. That was when Harry started screaming and didn't stop.

They found him later, still screaming.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

The isolated house was well hidden, both from muggles and wizards, surrounded by a near impenetrable wall of dark half dead trees and black thorns. It appeared utterly deserted, and neglected. The harsh wind howled outside, tearing at the roof with powerful claws, drizzle fell from the skies and coated everything in gloom. Only one room on the upper floor was inhabited. The room was dark lit only by the flickering eerie light of a few candles, and the pallid deathly light of the moon. A man sat on a high backed chair, his face shrouded in shadow. One hand, so lacking in colour that it seemed almost bloodless, reached out for a goblet on the table, with a slithering snake like movement. Suddenly there was a soft knock at the door, and a man cloaked entirely in black entered the room. Throwing back his hood he revealed thin pale features and hair so blonde it was almost white.

_"_My Lord." Lucius Malfoy bowed slightly as though acknowledging Voldemort's superiority.

"You bring news ?" Voldemort's crimson eyes gleamed in eager anticipation as he asked the question.

"I bring word from Severus, My Lord" Lucius Malfoy's face shone with cruel delight as he spoke. "The plan has succeeded, My Lord, the Potter boy lies in the hospital wing now, comatose, still lost in the world you created for him. He cannot be roused, they are without hope."

_"_And Dumbledore ?" Voldemort's face grew taut as he asked the question, and long boney fingers gripped the arms of his chair.

"Dumbledore tried everything in his power to drag Potter back to him, but he failed, as we knew he would. According to Severus he cannot accept the truth of what has happened and suffers greatly, neither eating or sleeping." Malfoy watched Voldemort, waiting for signs of pleasure, he was certain this news would please his master.

"Delicious, quite delicious" Voldemort postively purred with sadistic pleasure, his crimson slitted eyes aglow with triumph. "Even better than killing the boy. I can only imagine his torment, his confusion, and Dumbledore will suffer too seeing the boy permanently trapped in insanity. Vengance is such a pleasurable thing, only power is more pleasurable. I have had my vengance and soon I shall have absolute power."

"Your plan was the work of genius my lord" gushed lucius malfoy

"Naturally it was, since I thought of it." Voldemort said. "But do you see the full marvel of it lucius ?"

Lucius Malfoy paused to think before answering, he knew his master well. Was aware that the wrong answer could cause raging fury. All who served Voldemort avoided angering him whenever possible. Knowing well the painfull consequences of incurring his wrath. So Malfoy ran a thin elegantly decadent hand through his pale hair, and chose his words with care. "Well of course the Potter boy suffers horribly, and so will that old fool Dumbledore who is fond of the boy. And ..."

"Yes, yes, that goes without saying" interrupted Voldemort. "But surely you see, even with your feeble intellect, that much more than that has been achieved ! With one fell swoop I have removed the two people most likely to prevent me achieving complete power. Power moves closer Lucius, complete power." Voldemort's eyes glowed with a lustfull hunger, flaring red like hellfire. "I have broken the boy, and that will break Dumbledore too, he will be distracted, weakened, and I shall triumph without him to stop me."

Malfoy's eyes lit up as he imagined Dumbledore's imminent downfall, as he thought how at last Hogwarts would have a fitting headmaster. One who did not treat the dark arts with such contempt. Severus Snape would make a very suitable headmaster indeed. With Dumbledore gone, discipline would be restored, mud bloods and muggleborns would be excluded. Dragging himself from his thoughts, with some difficulty, Malfoy answered. "Your genius is immense my lord, I am foolish by comparison. Your plan was truly masterful, no-one but you could have thought of it."

Voldemort glared at Malfoy with contempt for a few seconds, before snapping. "You are also too fond of making gushing words of praise instead of serving me in more practical ways. You tire me with your platitudes, leave me."

As Lucius Malfoy turned to leave, Voldemort spoke again. "You may tell draco he performed well. I am pleased with him, though it really was the simplest of tasks to leave the book on potters bed, and slip potions into his meals to weaken his mind in readiness for my attack. He may have a future as a death eater after all, you may tell him I am most pleased. He will be well rewarded.

Malfoy glowed with malicious pride at Voldemort's words. If his son were to become a death eater, perhaps even Voldemort's right hand man, then it would bring honour to the family. Those who mattered, who held the same prejudices as Lucius Malfoy, who had the same hatreds, would admire his son. Eventually they would come to thank people like Draco, and his father, for returning wizarding society to the old days of pure blood. That was what was wrong with the magical community today, there were too many fools like Dumbledore who felt that Muggles and Mudbloods had rights. Who insisted that they be admitted to hogwarts. It was the fault of dumbledore, and people like him, that so many once pure wizard lines were now polluted. Lucius Malfoy had taught his son well, Draco had all his father's contempt of muggles and mudbloods. All Draco needed was a chance to proove himself to the dark lord. Now with his father's help, Draco would gain in power, and serve Voldemort well as a deatheater. Lucius malfoy's hands clenched in hatred, and his lips curled into a sneer, as he thought of how much he loathed all who were not pure born. Soon the dark lord would free wizards, no more hiding, or making apologys for their natural born superiority. This was why malfoy followed the dark lord, that and lust for power.

It was Dumbledore that brought Harry back, Dumbledore's hand on his that pulled him out of it. He'd refused to let them take Harry to St Mungos. Instead he had lifted Harry, and carried him to the hospital wing, his face lined with concern, and dread. Once there, Dumbledore used legimancy on Harry to discover what had happened. Probing Harry's mind, Dumbledore saw the things that Harry had seen. Felt the confusion and torture harry had suffered. Heard Harry defend him again, and again, even when faced with what seemed like betrayal. Finally Albus saw himself as Voldemort had painted him for Harry, saw what had broken Harry in the end. It took all Dumbledore's strength, and will power, and love, not to break then too. But he wouldn't let Harry go. Wouldn't abandon him. And through it all he saw Voldemort's mark. Knew the depths of evil that Voldemort had sunk to in his effort to break harry, and to gain revenge on his oldest, and most hated enemy, Albus Dumbledore. Once he'd discovered what Voldemort had done Dumbledore's fury was terrible to see. No-one that was there ever forgot the look in Dumbledore's eyes, as he discovered the torment Voldemort had inflicted on Harry.

Grim faced Dumbledore had taken Harry's hand in his, and using a rare, and powerful form of legimancy walked into his mind. Dumbledore had brought the true Harry back, broken, shaken, but Harry, the real Harry. Then he'd put Harry into a dreamless enchanted sleep, and sat shoulders sagging and exhausted, still holding his hand for long hours. As tears of self reproach fell down his face. How could he have let this happen to this boy, he loved like his own grandson. He should have known, should have been more vigilant. Dumbledore hadn't realised before how much Harry needed him, how much Harry loved him. Now he knew he had so many regrets, so many things he wanted to put right.

Harry woke to find Dumbledore's hand holding his. He was still muzzy and confused, partly from the effects of the mild sedating potions, Madam Pomfrey had insisted on giving him. Harry's eyes spun around the ward, confusion and terror in them. Then he saw Dumbledore, at first Harry looked as if he wasn't sure if Dumbledore was real or not. Dumbledore's heart broke when Harry's next action was to cringe away from him in fear.

"Harry, please don't be afraid, I will not hurt you. Those other Dumbledore's you saw were not me, please trust me Harry." Dumbledore's voice was gentle, and calming. Slowly Dumbledore placed his other hand over Harry's hand, so both Harry's hands were encased in his. Harry flinched a little, but then noticed how warm and comforting the touch was. "You are safe now Harry, I promise you."

"What happened ? Where am I ?" Were Harry's first words. Dumbledore noticed how Harry's voice trembled as he spoke, he prayed that Harry would recover fully. He was determined to do all he could to help Harry.

"You are in the hospital wing, Harry. I found you and brought you here." Dumbledore's voice was gentle as he looked at Harry. Now was not the time for detailed explanations, Harry was too fragile right now. He would keep things as simple as possible. Reaching out Dumbledore took a glass from the bedside table, holding it to Harry's lips, he said softly. "Try to drink a little water Harry, it will help you feel better."

Harry took a couple of sips, then asked shakily. "What ... what happened ...I...are you ???"

"Harry, you have been the victim of a plot by Voldemort. Everything that you thought so real, all the strange frightning things that appeared to happen, did not really happen. It was all a trick by Voldemort, designed to send you insane." Seeing the look of terror that flashed across Harry's face, Dumbledore said rapidly. "Harry you are not insane, Voldemorts plan failed. It was a very clever plan and very cruel." Dumbledore fought to keep his voice calm, but his eyes gave away the anger he still felt. "Voldemort invaded your mind, you were unconscious the whole time. Draco had been slipping potions into your meals for several weeks, which would make you much more susceptible to an attack of this type. He also placed the book on your bed." Dumbledore did not tell Harry that it was Snape who had discovered which potions Draco had given him. Nor did he tell him, about how Snape, in his role as spy for Voldemort, had sent a false message saying that the plot had succeeded. Harry could be told these things later, when he was better, Dumbledore did not want to worry him now.

Harry struggled for understanding of what Dumbledore was saying, he was still so confused. "But if I was ... it went on so long, if I was unconscious for so long then, why wasn't I found sooner ?"

"In actual fact Harry you were only unconscious for a few hours at most. Much like when you are dreaming, it can seem as though several days have passed, when your dream has only lasted for a short while." Dumbledore's hand still held Harry's in a protective, grandfatherly grasp. His other hand rested lightly on Harry's arm. Harry was grateful for the comfort it gave, he was too shaken, too traumatised, to be embarrassed, as he normally would have been. "Also, you may not remember this, but Draco tricked you into going to an out of the way corridor on the seventh floor. This meant that you were not found as soon as you otherwise might have been. It was only when I met a very frightened first year, fleeing for her life along one of the corridors from screaming banshees, that I went to investigate and found you. I knew at once that something was wrong and brought you here. You need to rest now Harry, I will explain in more detail when you are more fully recovered."

"Voldemort did this ? I ... I'm not ..." Harry had to know, couldn't even think of rest untill he knew. Had Voldemort succeeded, was he insane or not.

Dumbledore seemed to know, as he often did what Harry wanted to say. Dumbledore's eyes were gentle, full of compassion and sorrow, as he answered. "You are not insane Harry, Voldemort did this to you. It is natural that you feel scared and confused, but you will recover. Please believe me, my dear Harry, I assure you, I speak the truth."

Harry had one more question, "Draco, is he ...what happened ...?"

Dumbledore's voice was grave as he answered. "Draco Malfoy has been expelled Harry. I had no choice, he could not remain here after what he did. He knew exactly what he was doing, and how badly it would affect you when he slipped you those potions. I do not like to expel students, but I have a duty to protect all who study here. I cannot let someone remain here, when they have tried to cause immense damage to another student." Dumbledore's face was very sad now, he feared that Draco was beyond saving, and would turn fully to the dark arts. Dumbeldore had never expelled a student before, and even after what Draco had done he hated having to do so.

As he finished speaking, Dumbledore noticed how exhausted and drained Harry was becoming. "Harry that is enough questions for now." He said kindly but firmly. "You may ask me anything you like when you are more fully rested. But for now, you must rest and heal." Dumbledore's hand rested gently on Harry's head, stroking his hair in a grandfatherly way. "You are not insane Harry, I promise you, you are not insane. Everything will be allright Harry, rest now."

Harry hoped Dumbledore wouldn't leave him there alone. He felt as if Dumbledore's hand on his was his only link to reality. If Dumbledore left, maybe he'd sink back into insanity and chaos again. As usual Dumbledore seemed to know what Harry was thinking, as he said gently. "I will stay with you Harry, I will still be here when you wake up, don't be afraid." Once again a gentle grandfatherly hand ruffled his hair, rested gently on his head. "Try to sleep now Harry, I will watch over you I promise."

Exhausted Harry drifted into a fitfull restless sleep, where he once again relived the horrors he had suffered. Dumbledore's face was lined with concern and sadness, as he watched Harry toss and turn, heard him cry out in his sleep. Dumbledore's grip on Harry's hand tightened, as though he hoped his touch might calm Harry somehow. As he reached out with his other hand, and smoothed Harry's brow tenderly. Harry seemed a little calmer, so Dumbledore kept stroking his brow, and mumering soothing soft words to the sleeping boy.

As Harry slept, there was a soft footstep on the floor, and a shadow fell across the bed. A tall witch, in emerald green robes, stood looking down at Harry. Her normally stern face, was concerned, almost motherly.

"How is he, Albus ?" Minerva McGonagall whispered softly.

"He sleeps, but not as peacefully as I would like. He has suffered so much already, Minerva, and now this." Dumbledore's voice was full of deep sorrow, and shook slightly with worry and exhuastion.

"Will he ..." Minerva struggled to continue for a moment, then forced herself to go on. "He will recover fully, won't he ?"

"I hope so, I very much hope so" Albus whispered. "All we can do is give him all the time he needs, be there for him. I should have protected him better, should have prevented this." Albus added sadly, sounding close to tears.

"Nonsence, don't you dare blame yourself for this. We both know there's only one person to blame." Minerva's eyes were full of fury as she said this. "You saved him Albus, you brought him back. I, for one, am gratefull for that."

For a few minutes they watched Harry sleep, then Minerva spoke softly. "The children, Albus, his friends, they are desperate to see him. Could we permit a short visit now ?"

"Harry needs to sleep and rest." Albus thought for a moment, before continuing. He knew how much Ron and Hermione cared for Harry, knew they would hate waiting. Harry needed rest though, and it might worry his friends to see Harry like this. "If they visit him now, see him like this, it may distress them needlessly. Tell them that he is asleep now, and that they may see him when he wakes. Please reassure them that he is well, I would not wish them to worry."

"Very well, I will tell them." Minerva turned to leave, then turned back, and whispered. "Sleep well Harry."

Later the next day, Hermione and Ron sat in the Gryffindor common room discussing their first visit with Harry. They had both been happy to see Harry, but had also found it rather uncomfortable and strange. Harry hadn't really said much to them, most of the time he'd sat in silence, either staring out of the window, or staring at the wall with blank, half dead eyes. When he had looked at them, it had been as if he wasn't sure who they really were. Dumbledore, had seen how worried they were, and had tried to reassure them. He'd smiled at them, and offered them a lemon drop, as he tried to explain what had happened. They couldn't help but notice, though, that Dumbledore's eyes didn't twinkle in the way they normally did. Dumbledore had also asked them to keep things as secret as possible. He'd explained how it was very important that Voldemort thought his plan had succeeded, and asked them not to discuss matters with the other students more than they had to.

"It's freaky Hermione" Ron said. "He looks at me all the time like he doesn't think I'm really me."

"Well maybe you aren't really you" joked Hermione, a little unkindly.

"What ?!" screamed Ron in panic.

"Oh Ron of course you're you. I was just joking" Hermione laughed.

"Well don't" said Ron glaring at her grumpily for a moment. "Anyway it is freaky, really freaky. Maybe he's still a bit nuts or something."

"Don't be stupid Ron." snapped Hermione, who was worried about harry herself. "Of course he's not still nuts. You know what Dumbledore said, he's been through a very traumatic experience, he needs time, lots of time, but he will be all right."

"Will he ?" said Ron, who hated the thought of his best mate, maybe, not getting better. Normally, what Hermione said made sense, even if she could be a bit irritating at times. This time, though, Ron wasn't sure. "Dumbledore didn't actually say he'd be allright, and I think Dumbledore's worried too."

"Of course he's worried, we all are." sighed Hermione. "But I trust Dumbldore, if anyone can help harry he can." Her voice sounded just a little doubtful though.

They sat in silence for a while, till Ron said, with a tremble in his voice. "Mione, what if no one can help him ?"

Hermione didn't know what to say, so she reached out and took Rons hand in hers. They sat heads bowed, hoping their friend would be alright in the end. Finally Ron said "I'm not giving up on him, we've got to keep believing"

Hermoine nodded silently in agreement, as she remembered Dumbledore's words, about how much Harry would need friends like her and Ron now.

Harry had stayed in the hospital wing for a few days. Then knowing how miserable Harry was there, Dumbledore had taken Harry to stay in his own private quarters. He had made a room of Harry's own, just across the passage from his room. It was light and airy, decorated in Gryffindor colours. Normally Harry would have loved it, but he still found it hard to raise enthusiam for anything. He'd done his best to thank Dumbledore. To smile and pretend he liked it, but he was sure Dumbledore had sensed his indifference. Dumbeldore had looked at Harry, with tender eyes full of compassion, and said. "This room will always be here for you Harry, you may consider it your home if you wish" That at least had made Harry happy, untill the nightmare images returned once again to haunt him. Would he ever be free of them he wondered desperately.

Harry spoke every day with Dumbledore, sitting by the fire with him as Dumbledore tried to help him. To draw the memories, and the torment out of Harry. Harry doubted if it really helped, but Dumbledore seemed convinced it would. Harry was just glad to spend time with Dumbledore. On the rare occassions when Dumbledore had to leave him, Harry was miserable and afraid, half scared of which Dumbledore he would see when his headmaster returned.

It was during one of these talks, that Dumbledore told Harry that he must start to learn occlumency very soon. Dumbledore was determined that Voldemort would not be able to attack Harry mentally again, and would give Harry intensive tuition himself, once Harry was a little better.

"But what if he tries to attack again now, or before I'm good enough at occlumency to keep him out ?" Harry asked, terrified at the thought of enduring any further nightmarish attacks.

"Harry, both Professor Snape and I are convinced that there is no immediate danger of further attack." Dumbledore answered, looking at Harry kindly, and patting him reassuringly on the arm. " As you already know, Voldemort still believes that Professor Snape is in his employ as a spy. This allows Severus to feed Voldemort false information. At present, he has Voldemort convinced that his plan suceeded perfectly, that you are insane, and that I am near to breaking also. Voldemort thinks his plan has worked perfectly."

"But can we be sure that Voldemort really believes Snape ?" Harry asked, still worried.

"Harry, it was very easy to convince Voldemort of the success of his plan. He was already delighted with his own genius, gloating over his cleverness." Dumbledore's voice was full of disgust and contempt. "Sevrus only needed to tell Voldemort what he already expected to hear, and he was convinced that he had suceeded completely. He glories in his own success and thinks himself close to victory. It should be easy to keep the pretence going for quite some time yet, do not worry Harry, for the present you are safe."

Dumbledore sounded so sure, that Harry had relaxed and trusted him. Though he still worried a little about the future, but mostly he was just drained, and exhausted still. Trying to come to terms with what had happened to him.

Dumbledore said Harry was better now, told him that all he needed was time to recover, from what had been a terrible ordeal. Seeing Harry's fears written in his drawn, still pale face, he tried to convince him that he wasn't insane. Never had been insane. It'd just been the combined effects of the potions, draco had been slipping into harrys food, and Voldemorts invasion of his mind.

But Harry still didn't feel right. He often felt as if he was walking through a dream, or a nightmare. He was constantly afraid to loose his sanity. Thinking he saw dark shadows vanishing round corners, or that he heard whispers in the dark. He wasn't sure if they were in his mind, or really there, he felt detached, like a shade that walks in a dream world. Sometimes he pinched himself to test if he was conscious or not. When he heard himself say ouch, he doubted if the voice was his own, wasn't sure if he had really spoken or not. Maybe he just thought he had.

Nothing interested Harry any more, not even quidditch. Images of what had happened played constantly in his mind, tormenting him. Had this been what Voldemort wanted all along ? He sat in his room in dumbledore's quarters, or wandered aimless and hollow eyed, unable to free himself of the memorys that haunted him. He knew those memorys weren't real but they felt real, they were so intense.

Part of Harry suspected everyone these days. Half expected to see them change before his eyes, into a deatheater, or catch them out in some machivellean plot. The only one he felt safe with was Dumbledore. Something about Dumbledore's presence seemed to have a calming effect on Harry, somehow he seemed to radiate calmness. Sitting alone in his room, Harry started to think about this. _'I should have known.' _thought Harry _'I was so stupid, if I'd just remembered about Dumbledores calmness, I would have known they weren't really him. I would have known, it's all my fault, I should have known.' _

Entering Harry's room, Dumbledore found Harry, head hanging, guilt in his eyes. Placing a gentle hand under Harry's chin he lifted his head, and asked "Harry what's wrong ? Please tell me".

The concern in Dumbeldore's voice only made Harry feel even worse. So he sat in silence, eyes refusing to meet Dumbledores, who seemed to sense how Harry felt.

"It's not your fault Harry" Dumbledore said gently. "You couldn't have known. Voldemort is an extremely skilled legimens. Wizards considerably older, and wiser than you would have been equally badly affected. Add to that, the potions Malfoy was slipping into your meals made you particularly vunerable to Voldermorts attack"

"I still should have known" whispered Harry "I should have known that none of those other Dumbledores felt like you do, I should have known they were all wrong"

"Harry you did know it. I saw what you saw remember, but more than that, I felt what you felt, and you trusted me right untill the very end. You kept believing in me, despite being under the most intense intolerable pressure. You showed the most incredible courage and loyalty Harry. I am so very proud of you, and thank you for your trust in me."

"But I doubted you." whispered Harry, so quietly he could barely be heard. "I didn't trust you enough."

"Harry, listen to me." Dumbledore's voice was intense almost commanding. "You must not do this to yourself. Blaming yourself to such an extent is not healthy. Particularly when you are very much the innocent party in this, and do not deserve any blame." Dumbledore's hand gripped his firmly. "Harry, my dear boy, I beg you, do not do this to yourself. I assure you it was perfectly correct to doubt me, given the circumstances, you would have been a fool if you had not doubted me."

When Harry did not answer, Dumbledore continued. "Harry, I assure you Harry, I speak the truth, you are not to blame. You must be gentle with yourself, and allow yourself time to recover from something so traumatic. I am here for you harry, and will help you through this, I promise." Dumbledore's hand still gripped his, normally Harry would have found it embarrassing, but now he enjoyed, and was grateful, for the comfort it gave. Dumbledore's words had made him feel a bit better, but he still worried all the time if he would ever be truly himself again.

Dumbledore looked at Harry with concerned eyes, he knew Harry was still worried about something.

"Harry ? Something else is worrying you, please tell me what it is, perhaps I can help." He asked gently.

Harry sat in silence, feeling as if he was trapped behind a wall, he wasn't used to talk about his deepest fears. Normally he preferred to keep things to himself. He wanted so much to break down the wall, and tell Dumbledore how he felt, but it seemed as if he couldn't make his voice form the words. Dumbledore's hand rested on his shoulder now, it felt warm and soft, like a faint memory of being comforted as a young child.

"I know it isn't easy for you to speak about your feelings Harry, I understand. Please try to talk to me though Harry."

"What if I never get better ? What if I'm never Me again ?" Harry's voice cracked, and fell apart, as tears flooded down his face. At once Dumbledore's arm was round his shoulders, holding him tenderly.

"Harry, you will heal, you will be you again, I am sure of it, please trust me." Dumbledore's own voice sounded close to tears now too. "I am here for you, I will always be here for you. We will get there in the end Harry. You will heal, it will just take some time."

"What about Voldemort ?" Harry's voice shook on the final word. "I don't have time. I have to fight him, the prophecy ..."

"Harry, my dear Harry," Dumbeldore answered softly. "I just want you to get well, don't worry about Voldemort or the prophecy. All that matters is that you rest and heal, let others worry about Voldemort. I just want you to be safe and happy."

"So I'm not just a weapon then ? You didn't keep me safe just so I could one day kill Voldemort for you ?" Harry couldn't help it, he had to ask the question that had haunted him ever since he'd woken in the hospital wing. As soon as he'd spoken, he felt sick with terror and shame, half fearing that Dumbledore would be angry with him for doubting him, after all he'd done for him. How could he have said something like this to Dumbledore ? Hadn't Dumbledore more than proven his caring for Harry, espeicially recently. Harry's head dropped in shame once more, and he began to stammer words of apology.

"Shhhhhh Harry, it's allright. I understand" Dumbledore's arm was still round his shoulder. If anything he was held tighter than before, pressed in against Dumbledore's side. "Harry I am glad you asked me this, I want you to be able to speak to me about anything. Harry, my dear dear Harry, to me you have always been much much more than just a weapon. To me you have always been just Harry, the grandson I never had. " Dumbledores voice was gentle and soothing as he continued "Why do you think I always tried to keep you safe ? It was love Harry, it was always love, just love."

Harry knew then that everything would be allright. It always was allright when dumbledore was around, and Harry knew now that Dumbledore would be always there for him. Resting his head on dumbledore's shoulder, safely held in his protective arms, harry slept peacefully for the first time in a long while.

THE END

_Author's notes_

_Well, I hope the ending wasn't too mushy ?_

_Originally it was going to be just the one chapter, and would have ended as chapter one ended. That seemed such a dark depressing ending though, and I absolutely love happy mushy endings so I had to write one. It all came from a strange, weird, warped idea I got, while sitting in a car day dreaming, don't worry lol someone else was driving. _

_I do think, maybe I could have developed things more, turned this into a longer story, but I'm so into working on my story, Through Dumbledore's Eyes, that I didn't want anything to distract me from that for too long. And writing this story was the hardest one so far, I'm the author lol and I got totally confused at times. I was so glad when it was finished and swore I wouldn't write any more for at least a couple of weeks. Within two days I was bored, life seemed emptier, and I started writing again. _

_Btw did anyone guess ? Or notice the tiny clue in chapter one, to it all being a plot of Voldemort's ?_

_**please review, I'd like to hear people's opinions. Getting reviews makes my day. thanks. **_


End file.
